Do you know what the 3 stories are that every executive must be able to tell?

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me,
because I'd like to hear it again."
Groucho Marx

Once upon a time there was an idea that struck a very eager entrepreneur as the basis for the creation of an amazing enterprise. As time passed, this visionary’s dream began to generate amazing products and services that not only changed the world, but the way the people who used these great products and services began to see themselves. One user of this company’s fantastic, revolutionary, and cutting-edge technology transformed itself overnight into a dynamic, global leader in people to people commercial exchange and a paragon of social action and responsibility.

There are no names to put to this story. There is really no need to. Because, whether the facts are real or imagined, the elements of this story are essential to the culture, growth and sustainability of every business. The stories within this larger epic are the three basic stories that every executive must learn and be able to tell with unbridled enthusiasm, humility and sincerity.

Do you know the three stories that every executive must be able to tell?

Allow me, please, to share some insights with you regarding the three stories and how you can use them to promote yourself and your business.

First, what are the three stories?

The three stories every executive must be able to tell are:

1. The Origin Story

2. The Product Story

3. The Customer Story

Let’s look into each one and see how it might best serve your needs.

THE ORIGIN STORY

Origin stories are tales of passion. They ignite the imagination of the listener and ask them to surrender their attention to the details of a rise from nothingness to established existence. Some origin stories are about unlikely partnerships uniquely forged upon a spark of genius. Others portray courageous visionaries steadfastly pursuing a dream from a garage or a dorm room.

Whatever story relates the foundational moments of your enterprise, as an executive, you must learn how to embrace it, retell it and infuse it with a passion equal to that of the originators in your story.

You must be ever mindful of the many audiences a good origin story serves. Origin stories can inspire investors, recruit top talent, establish a solid ground for a longer relationship, and provide the fundamental core behind a business’s culture and its proud traditions.

Without exception, the telling of the origin story is a primary duty of every executive from the middle to the top and back again.

THE PRODUCT STORY

Once the purview of marketing and public relations, the proliferation of social media into business marketing channels has enabled all executive players within an enterprise to relate the value, features and benefits of every product in the line.

Behind every service or product is the story of why it exists, how it came to be and what unique qualities justify the loyalty of consumers or end users. The product space is crowded in this arena, (social media) where the best, boldest and cleverest grab the lion’s share of the bandwidth shared by readers and raters for shoppers and buyers.

Today, people exhaust all avenues to uncover the good, the bad and the ugly of a product before making their “buy” decision. An artfully crafted and well told product story can have enormous effect on cementing a product’s ranking in search engines, blogs and other aggregators of opinions and reviews.

As an executive, you must know these stories down to the deepest detail. You must be able to recall them with enthusiasm and purpose. The product story is an incredible opportunity to relate value, innovation and excellence in a single experience.

THE CUSTOMER STORY

Whether you read or hear a review from a customer, it has real bearing on your perception of a company and its products. The customer story is a powerful way to relate to prospective customers the deep levels of satisfaction your company and its products have achieved.

Many executives ignore this fertile ground of storytelling, failing to understand its powerful role in breeding new customers and retaining current ones as well.

A well told customer story is a powerful testimonial bearing witness to the passion, promise, and reliability of doing business with your organization. It extends beyond the performance of a single product or products to reach the much more significant value of a relationship built on trust and fidelity. Every executive should have a briefcase (or backpack) full of customer stories suitable for sharing with a vast array of audiences.

THE STORY YOU HEARD BEFORE

As Groucho Marx quipped, “If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again." As an executive storyteller, you will. Likewise, you will become used to telling these stories and yearn for the chance to do so at every opportunity. The telling must never be done rotely or robotically. Instead the telling of these stories should be fulfilled by those within any organization with a high degree of passion and the honor it bears.

An executive telling any of the three stories, The Origin, The Product and The Customer, should never tire of the unique opportunities they afford to build, buoy and bond a relationship for the betterment of the served and the server.

I deeply appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

How to Look and Sound Genuine When Speaking to a Camera

"All emotion is involuntary when genuine."
Mark Twain

You may have noticed that video cameras are everywhere!

Nearly everyone has immediate access to a video recording device and they use it to document the important events of their life. There are also a bunch of voyeuristically naive people who live to “catch” a stranger’s “worst nightmare” and then post it on the internet hoping to achieve viral notoriety at someone else’s expense.

Knowing there is a potential for you to be caught off guard and have your integrity virally impugned is a pretty scary thing. The best defense is to always behave properly, act honestly and be genuine. I can’t guarantee you’ll be immune from the amateur paparazzi, but you just might not draw their attention.

Then there is the other side of the coin… the self-inflicted, self-orchestrated video that is painful to watch and does little to enhance one’s stature. There is a trend gaining ground that requires business owners, self-employed, and entrepreneurs to promote their products, services and personal brand on the internet and in social media through the use of video. When creating a video, you must be aware of two pivotal elements, 1) how you sound and 2) how you look.

Every person who approaches this process has two choices, 1) to do it well or 2) to do it at a low, casual level. If you’re considering making a video of yourself, the question you should be asking is, “What do I want people to remember most about the video I am making?”

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN: TAILS

I recently counseled a young man with incredible speaking talents regarding a series of videos he posted on his LinkedIn site. His passion for conveying life lessons and advice on leadership is amazing, but his videos, due to their overtly casual nature, did everything they could to distract from the core of his message. In one video he is talking to his smart phone while driving his car, breaking eye contact with the road several times to face the camera. As a viewer, I was unpleasantly watching, hoping I would not bear witness to a horrible accident. We all recognize that one of the current harbingers of calamity in our society is the distracted driver. We’d all like to do everything we can to eliminate this dangerous behavior. But, the distracted speaker? Honestly, if what you have to say is so darn important, show us some respect. Take the time to put your best effort forward in a thoughtful, clear and undistracted fashion.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN: HEADS

I have worked with a number of my clients, past and present, facing the video dilemma with trepidation on the best way they can be “in control” of the process, remain genuine, and enjoy the final product in the end. From the outset, I stress upon them how important it is to understand that even the most casual touch still demands the best form of communication.

The best communication means with the least distractions or interferences. Try to imagine watching a TV show with lots of static or data drops. It makes for a very taxing experience. As a leader or spokesperson your goal is to create a video that is purged of all interferences, allowing your brand, message and personality to come through unfiltered and at its full impact potential. You can afford to do no less.

But how? Surely it is harder than it appears.

THE HARD ROAD TO EASY STREET

It’s been said that Steve Jobs would rehearse for 17 hours or more for one of Apple’s annual presentations. So, whether you’re thinking the process of looking and sounding genuine in front of a camera is hard or easy you’re right on both accounts. It all depends on how you approach the process. Begin by giving thought to the items below:

• What topic and key points have you identified to talk about?

• How much time have you devoted to thinking about what you want to say?

• How much have you practiced responses to the questions you intend to answer?

• How much practice have you had before a camera prior to your “real” recording opportunity?

• Have you received candid feedback on your practice “performances”?

When you’ve considered all of these process questions your task will either be hard or easy depending on the degree of effort you have put forth. You get to choose which road you’d want to take.

HOW TO LOOK AND SOUND GENUINE

Your ability to Look and Sound genuine can be achieved by exhibiting these three qualities of being genuine:

• Controlling your energy

• Commanding your content

• Conveying your authenticity

Controlling your energy is a nonverbal skill.

Even high-powered CEO’s can do this poorly. Tim Cook, CEO of Apple paces so much, they have had split the screen with one camera following him and another on the Keynote slides. Unfortunately, his bad habit is now becoming systemic as more and more Apple presenters fall into this “style”.

There is nothing wrong with standing still and making your point. The more you move, the harder the audience finds it to be able to concentrate on what you are saying. Learn how to control your energy.

Being able to control your energy includes:

• Taming your wild hands (hair touching, ear scratching, beard stroking, etc.) by having a plan for the use of purposeful and meaningful gestures.

• Having a clear and unstrained voice that speaks at a controlled rate with solid volume and a pleasant pitch.

• Limiting needless body movement including uncontrolled pacing.

• Starting and ending with a smile or assuring face (if your delivering somber news).

• Making solid eye contact and looking at the camera as you would a good friend.

Commanding your content is a verbal skill.

We’ve heard for years that “Content is King”. This is not something new to the digital age. What you say has, is and always be the most important part of any communication. When you ask a viewer to stop and pay attention to you, you’d better be as clear and swift to your point as you can be.

Try following these three simple content command rules:

• Know what you want to say.

• Know how you want to say it.

• Know who is going to see and hear it.

Conveying your authenticity is a social skill.

Authenticity is not charisma. Charisma (a compelling attractiveness or charm) is a perceived quality.

Authenticity is an earned quality. It is acquired through a consistency of behavior that stands the tests of reliability and credibility.

Authenticity can be described as being legitimate, valid, dependable, trustworthy, accurate and truthful. Authentic leaders and speakers convey a sense of believability in how and what they say. In return their audiences place a higher level of their confidence in the products, brands, services and messages they represent.

A great deal of this authenticity comes from the level of self-esteem and self-confidence the speaker has in the content they share, the level of fluency they have on the topic, and the comfort they have speaking about it.

THE GENUINE SPEAKER

If you’re thinking about making a video to promote your brand, company or idea your goal is to be perceived as genuine. This means, don’t try to be anyone but yourself. Know what it is you want to say and how you want to say it. Think about the immortal nature of digital video and its lasting impact on you and your business. Don’t try to do it alone. Solicit the assistance of a colleague or coach to increase your effectiveness.

It truly is easy to look and sound genuine in front of a camera if you put the work in behind the scenes.

I am genuinely delighted to share these insights on How to Look and Sound Genuine in Front of a Camera. Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, I am grateful for your support as a reader of my blog and I welcome any comment on this post or suggestions you might have in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Why the sheer brilliance of using a deep conversation to create a high-value relationship is utterly priceless.

"Deep conversations with the right people are priceless."
Anonymous

As of late, the art of conversation has been taking a beating. We all know it and, most importantly, we all see it. People still meet for lunch or dinner, but they don’t talk much to each other. Instead, they just immerse themselves in technology, only occasionally sharing a tweet or text. It’s all very surface level and hardly ever goes deeply into what really matters. While they are developing relationships, many of these people are missing out on the priceless value deeper conversation offers.

THE ART OF THE PRICELESS

For many years, I have been coaching my leadership and speaking clients to get out of their ivory tower and talk to their people. If all you know about a person is what is on their resumé, you “don’t know nothin’” about them. The same thing goes for colleagues as well. I once worked at a communications agency where we were prohibited from talking to each other except as it related to work.

A communications agency!

Hard to believe? Not really.

In many corporate circles, conversation is considered a waste of time. Idle chatter. The devil’s playground.

But, research has found that practicing the art of conversation is a sound business strategy. Even without the research, having deep conversations with clients, colleagues and audiences is a fundamentally sound behavior. After all, when you take a business and separate the processes and product from the enterprise what you have left are the people that work there. The same people that will spend endless hours pouring their souls into a product or service can hardly be bothered to explore and discover what matters most in their professional, public, and personal lives.

For many leaders, conversations may appear to be an unnecessary, costly expense. But what they are destined to learn when building a high-functioning team, is that deep conversations between the players is critical. This may not be news to some, but it is certainly a revelation on the state of human nature to many. What some leaders and speakers may view as a costly extravagance is actually a priceless experience.

Recently, Joe Maddon, World Series winning manager of the Chicago Cubs, has begun taking to dinner players who may be struggling or underperforming. It is his belief that getting to know the player better through deep conversations is a critical part of his job. He knows there is a postive benefit when the player knows his manager has concern for more than what happens between the foul lines. Maddon is it in for the long game, because winning is the result of lots of small wins collected over time. He knows winning in life has a direct correlation to winning on the field. He sees a manager’s role as not just managing how a team plays but managing the people who play on the team as well.

Deep conversations are the very foundation of a strong relationship. To build a strong lasting relationship all parties have to be invested in the process. Or, as our giraffes in the photo accompanying this blog demonstrate, sometimes you have to be willing to stick your neck out to get results. To build a strong relationship through deep conversations you must be willing to give details and disclosures about yourself (company) as well as receive the same in return from the other side of the relationship. Deep conversations really are priceless.

THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT CYCLE

A while back, I developed The Relationship Development Cycle, a model for helping all of my clients learn how they could build stronger relationships. Stronger relationships with their clients, teams, and audiences. Through the use of this model, my clients are able to deepen the relationships they have with themselves (as leaders and speakers) and with others in the course of doing business, enhancing their communities, and enriching their personal and family lives.

The Relationship Development Cycle has five stages (Desire, Exploration, Discovery, Negotiation and Acceptance) that continuously revolve around a central hub (Trust) for stability. The engagement of this model can help anyone develop a deeper understanding and relationship with any person, place or thing. You can apply it to a skillset or a dataset. It works the same so long as the first stage (Desire) is present in the relationship. Without Desire, all relationships crumble through entropy and eventually cease to exist. It is one reason we tend to lose friendships over time. Without the Desire to maintain the relationship, it has a natural tendency to falter.

The hub of Trust acts to align the relationship based on the truthfulness of the information exchanged throughout the relationship.

If (when engaging this model to develop a deeper personal relationship with yourself about a skill, emotion or experience) you cannot maintain complete honesty, your self-relationship will spin out of alignment due to an imbalance of honest information. Since we often “lie” to ourselves as a defense mechanism many of us don’t often have the best relationships with ourselves. Don’t you deserve better?

You are one of the right people. Have a deep conversation with yourself.

The ability to build a strong relationship is not a “just add water” activity. It takes time, sincerity, honesty, creativity, and bravery to expose yourself willingly to another person (including yourself). For western thinkers it requires the ability to allow yourself time for reflection. Something the western mind tends to struggle with grasping.

In a recent commencement address to his daughter’s graduations class, Chief Justice John Roberts urged the graduates to “to stay involved with yourself." He imparted to them the following sentiment, "My advice is, when you get to college, to set a little time aside each day to think about things instead of simply acquiring more information. Do not read more, do not research more, do not take notes. Put aside books, papers, computers, telephones. Sit, perhaps just for a half hour, and think about what you're learning."

SOUND BUSINESS THINKING

If your goal is to build better work groups with higher levels of performance and reliability, I can recommend no better way than to practice The Relationship Development Cycle. Challenge all members of your organization to learn more about who they are, what they want and what they need from the work they do by engaging this model between themselves. Once you learn what people dream to achieve, you will see how you can help them fuel that desire.

For leaders and speakers, The Relationship Development Cycle is critical to developing the deep thought platforms you seek to use when communicating concepts and processes to your audience. By engaging The Relationship Development Cycle you’ll learn to stretch your ability for self-examination, strengthen your thinking muscle, and overcome the tendency to settle for the easy answers to tough questions. Remember, your value to individuals and organizations rest solely on the uniqueness of your vision and your ability to effectively articulate that vision with authority, brevity and clarity.

Click this link for a free copy of my one-page document about The Relationship Development Cycle and feel free to share it with colleagues, friends and partners. Most importantly, share The Relationship Development Cycle with yourself. Start today to begin building a strong relationship with yourself on a host of topics through deep intrapersonal conversations. You’ll soon see the most amazing transformation begin to happen when you stick your neck out just a little.

While you’re at it, stick your neck out a little and please share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Why you must avoid the hidden pit falls of group think when leading and speaking.

One of the greatest dangers for a leader or speaker is to grow increasingly numb to the pit falls of group think within their organization and the speeches they deliver.

Today, the whole world is listening and the things you may think you are saying in confidence might easily show up on YouTube, Twitter or SnapChat. This does not mean you should be disingenuous when you speak, but it does mean you must consider the larger audience who might hear what you are saying.

Sometimes, when we’re in a like-minded group it is easy for us to become comfortable saying the things we’d like to say instead of the things we ought to be saying. This is a lesson learned painfully by many politicians, athletes and celebrities. Some professional speakers and business leaders are guilty of this as well.

UNDERSTANDING GROUP THINK

Groupthink is a term coined by social physiologist Irving Janis in 1972 to classify a negative feature of people in groups. Group think is defined as a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people, in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an incorrect or deviant decision-making outcome.

Recently, while coaching a candidate for state legislative office we talked about speaking to audiences. My caution was to avoid the pit falls of group think by continually remembering that even people in your own party reserve the right to change their mind or to differ in opinion.

Group think has not only snared the famous and infamous, it also has a tendency to stifle open and honest dialogue between well intentioned people and among well-meaning groups.

Group-think is a paralyzing phenomenon predominately practiced from the halls of academia to the corridors of legislatures to conference rooms throughout the world.

In my own experience, while teaching Public Speaking at a college, I challenged my colleagues who were classifying Vocal Variety as verbal communication on the course’s rubric. When I pointed it out to them that even the text we were using classified Vocal Variety as nonverbal communication because it is paralanguage their response was, “Well perhaps we’ll call it Voice on the rubric instead.”

If ever there was a case of making a deviant decision, this is one. Instead of being concerned they had misinformed their students, they were more concerned with not being proved wrong. They were lock-step in the group think.

The Titanic struck an iceberg, but it was group think (this ship is unsinkable) that sunk it.

New Orleans was hit by hurricane Katrina, but it was group think (the levees will protect us) that cost the lives of so many people.

Enron may have been led by greedy dishonest executives, but it was group think (the belief that dissent is disloyalty or stupidity) that caused it to crumble.

AVOIDING THE PIT FALLS OF GROUP THINK

There are a variety of techniques you can engage to help avoid group think. An article from Expert Program Management suggests the following:

• The Nominal Group Technique: this gives group members the opportunity to contribute individually before group discussion begins.

• The Delphi Method: this allows group members to contribute individually without the group ever having to come together. The individual may not even be aware of who the other members of the team are.

• The Stepladder Technique: this starts with a group of two, and adds one member at a time to the group, allowing each new team member to express their opinion on the solution each time, before group discussion begins.

• ·The Six Thinking Hats Technique: forces the team to look at a problem from different perspectives.

The clearest solution to avoiding group think may be found in a simple two-word slogan from Apple, “Think Different”. Regardless of how popular a solution or objective may be,  challenge yourself and your group to seek a different perspective on the idea. Examine it as if you are seeing it for the first time. Give it the old “water test”. If it doesn’t hold water, it probably will sink.

THE NON-GROUP THINK LEADER AND SPEAKER

When you create a speech, you are your own group. You develop content out of your own passion, knowledge and experiences. You believe what you have to say is really, really important. While you have great, awesome and inspiring vision, what you may lack is perspective. And this can lead to group think.

A good many speakers get ensnarled in their own little group think. They have a passion for a topic, craft a speech with lots of real neato ideas, stories and witty phrases and then send it on its way. They forget to take the time to listen to what they are saying from their audience’s perspective. They forget to “eat their speech” and end up serving something that is totally indigestible. They hit their listeners with a fire hose when a sprinkler is what is they need to nurture the seeds they have sown.

The best way for a leader or speaker to avoid encouraging group think is to listen to what is being said. Measure it against what situation it is intended to solve. Before coming to the final decision, seek the input of a trusted, impartial outside source. Ask open questions designed to expand on the range of existing thinking. Be open to change and embrace it.

As Albert Einstein said, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. The best way for me to avoid falling into group think within this post is for my readers to chime in with their comments, opinions and suggestions. Please feel free to share your comments on this post or suggestions for future posts in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Can you afford to ignore the value in the hidden segments of diversity when leading or speaking?

Why does the word “diversity” provoke so much fear and passion in today’s world? More importantly, why is diversity so often misunderstood or misappropriated?

From the classroom to the boardroom to the factory floor to virtually every corner of our modern world everyone is clamoring for more and more diversity. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

I have developed, managed and facilitated diversity programs and training. While doing so, I have seen both its benevolent and malevolent sides. While I continue to applaud diversity, as both a business and social strategy, I do so with a profoundly deeper understanding today than I did several years ago.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE “DIVERSITY”?

Ask most people what they think diversity is and they will most like say, “It is a program that aims at creating a balance of people within a group based on race, gender, and religion.” Some may go so far as to add education, age and ethnic origin to the mix. The business case for diversity is much more than the affirmative action, gender equality and identity issues most people think it is.

The truth is, based on information from the Society for Human Resources (SHRM) these characteristics are just the tip of the iceberg.

Look at this graphic from SHRM.

The chart helps you see that diversity traits are both visible and invisible. Whether you are leading or speaking to a group, you can be assured that there will be people in your group filling a multiple of these traits most of which are invisible.

DIVERSITY AND THE SPEAKER

As a speaker, you must do your research before you speak. Ask the organizers of your speaking opportunity to provide you with data regarding the composition of your audience. Once armed with this information you can use it to craft your presentation to be more inclusive both in terms of content and language selection. Possessing this information will make you a better speaker, providing you with insights that will help you deeply connect with your audience.

DIVERSITY AND THE LEADER

True diversity in the workplace allows leaders opportunities to create a complex composition of individuals who can be given a seat at “the table”. The more diverse the individual traits represented at “the table”, the greater the opportunity for gaining new insights into a variety of business-critical issues from product development to process improvement to employee engagement. When you are leading a team, think beyond the obvious visible traits that tend to placate most drivers of diversity. Think, “How can I best serve my customers, employees and company by pursuing the most diverse range of thinking I can assemble.”

THE HIDDEN VALUE

The hidden values in diversity are by-products of its practice. When you think diversely and seek diverse opinions you strengthen your own sense of what you know, why you choose one option over another, and why it’s okay for people to disagree while working together to build a consensus and strategy for progress and growth.

For a leader this means developing an understanding of how people think and express themselves when given the opportunity to freely contribute to the “conversation”.

For a speaker this means learning to listen not only to what you are saying but to what others are saying about those topics near and dear to your heart. Avoiding isolated thinking is a powerful way for a speaker to connect and make an impact.

In the end, diversity really is about the art of thinking independently together. It is no secret that no one ever achieves success alone. Increasing the diversity of your thinking, research, and experiences is the strongest case for practicing diversity in everything you do. Diversity forces us to seek the most common ground. And, it’s on the common ground where the most bonds of goodwill, cooperation and understanding are initially forged and tend to endure.

As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. I appreciate a diversity of ideas and comments as well, so please share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer