The ABC' of Executive Speaking: Clarity

"Clarity affords focus."
Thomas Leonard

In my last post, I followed my discussion of the “A” of the “ABC’s of Executive Speaking” framework– Authenticity with an examination of the “B” of the “ABC’s” – Brevity. In this post I will cover the “C” of  the “ABC’s”– Clarity.

CLARITY

Thomas Leonard, one of the founding leaders of the executive coaching industry said, “Clarity affords focus.” For speaking executives this is doubly true. Clarity brings greater focus to what the speaker will say and a greater understanding by the audience of the content that it hears.

But Clarity is a slippery eel for many speakers. Because many executive speakers are also subject matter experts, it is difficult for them to parse out the “noise” that occasionally interferes with the content they are presenting. Achieving Clarity as a speakers means your content must be:

• Coherent

• Intelligent and

• Transparent.

Let’s take a look at each of these qualities.

COHERENT

Being a Coherent speaker is the number one speaking behavior where most executive speakers first lose their audiences. Being Coherent is the act of uniting or forming as a whole an idea or action. When you speak as an executive, your audience relies heavily on your ability to design and refine your content and then opine it effectively. You must be logical and clear in everything you say. Your thoughts must be connected in a way in which the words you say create an image of what you want the audience to absorb or act upon. You cannot obfuscate, hem, haw or otherwise confuse your audience by meandering from idea to idea without some sort of logical pattern. A coherent speaker is a trusted speaker. Just ask any audience.

INTELLIGENT

Intelligence in the executive speaking world can be defined as having Certainty. Certainty is a quality of knowledge about a fact of which there is no doubt.

In an article from the job board, The Ladderstitled “8 Things that Set Truly Confident People Apart”, number 4 on the list was “They speak with certainty.” Here is an quote from that article:

“Confident people speak assertively because they know that it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.”

Conviction is a level of belief, faith and trust that you develop, as a speaker, from having done the background work, verified the research, and integrated the knowledge you’ve gained into your speaking essence. While content can be borrowed, its delivery should never be faked. Doing so would violate all the elements of being an Authentic speaker (the “A” of The ABC’s of Executive Speaking). Giving a speech prepared by another person is like taking a ten-mile hike in some else’s shoes; you may get into them, but the fit is awkward and over time will produce painful blisters.

I witnessed this happening when I saw two gentleman attempt to deliver a long form presentation created by another person who asked them to step in at the last minute to cover for him. The longer they went on the less intelligent they sounded and the more restless the audience became waiting for them to reach their painful conclusion.

The lack of a speaker’s intelligence is most quickly revealed when they begin to demonstrate a lack of knowledge of their content material.

TRANSPARENT

A Transparent speaker is a Confident speaker. Transparency is in demand these days from every source, authority, and organization. Speakers are not exempt. In fact, speakers must be the standard bearers of communication transparency. By virtue of the public nature of speaking, all speakers including executive speakers, must be confident enough in their content to allow themselves to be open to the public scrutiny of transparency.

Since, as speakers, we hold ourselves to a higher standard, this should not be an issue of concern. Speakers acceptthe unwritten code that “we will do no harm to our audience”. This means, as an executive speaker, you will not knowingly mislead your audience through the purposeful delivery of a misstatement of facts or events. It means that you hold your audience in a higher esteem than you hold yourself.

There can be no other way for you to establish the trust of your audience. After all, their faith in you as a leader rests upon the trustworthiness of what you say.

THE CASE FOR CLARITY

It should be easy for you to see that, as an executive, whenever you speak Clarity is your greatest ally in both getting your point out and getting it across. Listeners respond most favorably to speakers with clear, logical, easy to process language that supports the purpose of their speech.

The primary role of communication is to allow people to connect. It does no one any good if the connection is unclear, muddied by incoherent, unintelligent, and cloudy speech. To be effective, think about becoming a master of Clarity committed to delivering one great Coherent, Intelligent, and Transparent speech after another.

Thanks for your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on how you’re thinking about achieving the possibility of your promise. Also, I would appreciate any suggestions you might have for future posts in this blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

The ABC's of Executive Speaking: Brevity

"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do."
Thomas Jefferson

In my last post, I introduced you to the “A” of the “ABC’s of Executive Speaking” framework– Authenticity. In this blog I will examine the “B” of the “ABC’s” - Brevity

My dad was a great speaker and successful executive. When I would listen to him speak, I remember being impressed by how he would say what he needed to, make his point and leave the impression he desired on his audience all without saying a lot or taking too much time to say it. I never saw him lose an audience or a single listener.

My dad would counsel me about speaking with a favorite adage, “The brain will absorb what the rear end will tolerate.”

Shakespeare wrote that “Brevity is the sole if wit.” In executive speaking, Brevity is a sole of retention.

When it comes to executive speaking, Brevity is an essential skill to practice. To exhibit Brevity in executive speaking, you should have a command of the skills of being:

• Concise

• Succinct

• Economical

• Compact

Let’s explore each of these skills.

CONCISE

I have witnessed many executive speakers struggle to contain the amount of what they say into the time they’re allowed to say it.

In business, time is money. Today’s businesses proudly extoll how their people are doing more and more with less and less available time. It therefore stands that these same employees prize their time as a precious possession. An effective executive speaker does not waste an audience’s time.

Why waste it explaining a concept, getting to your point, or asking for the action you want people to take?

The ability to be Concise means that you are able to give a lot of information clearly and in a few words. It means you are brief but comprehensive. Getting to the point requires you to weed out any unnecessary content. It means you must learn to be precise in both content and language. It means you should have a plan and a formula to use that will help you control your content as well as shape its impact.

SUCCINCT

It is tough to be terse.

The act of being a Succinct speaker can be achieved when what you say is briefly and clearly expressed. Thomas Jefferson’s sage words above, “never to use two words when one will do”, must be heeded. The words you chose should be commonly understood. An acronym must be explained before it is used again. Being Concise means learning how to become terse; a speaker of few words. But your words must be chosen with purpose. To have impact you must have value in both your content and message.

ECONOMICAL

Executive speakers often struggle with limiting the vastness of their knowledge when they speak to their audiences. As subject-matter experts, executive speakers have a tendency to dowse their audience with a fire hose when a sprinkler will do. As a result, they are neither economical in content or time.

To be economical means to use no more of something than is necessary. It also means to give good value or service in relation to the amount of time or effort spent.

Being economical of language and content is a great way to practice the brevity essential to your skill as an effective executive speaker and leader.

COMPACT

Being Compact in your executive speaking requires you to organize your content for maximum impact. Adhering to a formula or outline enables you to be precise in your approach and delivery. In speaking, this means expressing yourself with fewer words than normal. You must learn how to get your point out and then get to that point with precision, purpose and potency.

BREVITY

Listeners put a high price on speakers who value their time by being Concise, Succinct, Economical and Compact in their presentations and speeches. Demonstrating you are an executive speaker who has command of the skill of Brevity will enhance your stature, your level of influence, and your image as a leader within your organization.

It is true! In speaking, less really is more. 

• More understanding.

• More influence.

• More credibility. 

I urge you to keep Brevity in mind as an effective speaking tool. There is no reason why you, as an executive speaker, should not value and practice Brevity every time you speak. Brevity is your key unlocking the door to deeper understanding, greater impact and wider influence through saying more with less.

Thanks for your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on how you’re thinking about achieving the possibility of your promise. Also, I would appreciate any suggestions you might have for future posts in this blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

The ABC' of Executive Speaking: Authenticity

“Always be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”
Oscar Wilde”

In my last post, I introduced you to the “ABC’s of Executive Speaking” framework. This post will explore the “A” of the ABC’s – Authenticity.

With every passing day, the world of the executive speaker continues to evolve. This evolution presents challenges that many executive speakers have never previously addressed. From the virtual meeting, to the webinar, to the teleseminar, to the promotional video – all of these opportunities test the ability of an executive speaker to create, organize and deliver memorable and effective content that informs, influences and energizes every audience.

Some speakers meet these challenges by choosing to emulate the speaking techniques of other, notable speakers without first analyzing their own style and effectiveness. Executive speaking is hard enough without adding a layer of imitation on your speaking style that is, after all, borrowed at best and seldom done seamlessly.

What you need as an effective executive speaker is Authenticity.

AUTHENTICITY

As Shakespeare wrote, “This above all, to thine ownself be true.” It is an admonishment all executive speakers should take to heart. To be true to oneself implies that you have introspective knowledge of yourself that is honest and unfiltered. This is not always easy to do. Why?

Because it takes time. Introspective reflection requires openness to input from others and, above all, acute self-awareness. Armed with this level of “trueness”, a speaker can rely on their innate qualities, trust their instincts and have confidence that, “I know what I know” is sufficient a platform to take and control the stage wherever that may be.

To be an Authentic executive speaker you must be Genuine, Credible, Valid, Legitimate, and Trustworthy.

GENUINE

A genuine speaker has a quality of self, based on the deeply derived trust one earns from confronting themselves through honest examination. The authentic speaker knows what they know, feels what they feel, and maintains an aura of discernable genuine character capable of supporting and enhancing their influential aspirations. It’s hard to be genuine when you are not being yourself.

CREDIBLE

There is an unwritten rule for all speakers, “I will do no harm to my audience.” Because of this, you have a credibility card you should never play when speaking. Playing your credibility card card asks an audience to forgive your intentionally misstated facts, policies and information. All professional speakers know that the most important character you bring to the stage is that of truthfulness. Truthfulness that holds the highest respect for your audience, while safeguarding them from harm through falsehood. In order to be held as a leader of the highest repute, executive speaking demands credibility of the highest level as well.

VALID

Executives are often charged with the responsibility of increasing an organization’s worth. When you speak as an executive, the value of what you say can increase an organization’s worth as well. Deepening the understanding of complex initiatives, policies, and vision can engage a workforce, unite stakeholders, and increase loyalty among customers.

Simply put, flapping your gums based on the authority of your title just doesn’t qualify as effective executive speaking in today’s business world . You must bring inspiration, intensity and insight into your speaking content in order to create the memorable and repeatable outcome you need and should desire. 

Your audience will value your perspective, concreteness of fact, and the sincerity of your intent. Your content must be timely, accurate and impact them in a meaningful way.

Nothing less will do.

LEGITIMATE

This is where the rubber meets the road in executive speaking. It is the point at which your style and your substance unite, creating an unbreakable bond between you and your audience. Being a legitimate executive speaker presents itself through the actions you take while on stage. 

It is through your speaking legitimacy that you demonstrate the following:

• That you confidently own content that is originally yours

• That you fully credit any content you have borrowed from others

• That you willingly and humbly share what you have learned with your audience.

Now ask yourself, “Am I doing this when I speak?” If you honestly are, then you are being an authentic executive speaker.

TRUSTWORTHY

Steven Covey wrote, “Trust is a must”.

I believe that every executive speaker’s goal is to build a lasting relationship with their audience. In my work with my clients, we spend considerable time on relationship building. First with themselves and secondly with their audiences. At the core of this work is the understanding that all relationships spin on a hub of trust. 

Therefore, as an authentic executive speaker, your principle responsibility is to leave your audience feeling comfortable and trusting in the content you have shared. Helping your audience trust you by showing them you trust yourself through both words and actions will increase their trust in you and thereby your effectiveness. This sense of being trustworthy is the cement that sets the bond between speaker and audience.

THE AURA OF AUTHENTICITY

In the end, Authenticity is not something you can walk into Executives R’US and buy off the rack, take to work, hang it on a hook in your corner office, and slip into whenever the occasion calls. Authenticity is an integral character of self and a practiced behavior as a speaker. You can strive for it, achieve it and own it when you practice being Genuine, Credible, Valid, Legitimate, and Trustworthy every time you get the opportunity to speak in your executive capacity. It may start out as a challenge, but eventually you will find that it fits you to a tee. And, your audiences will appreciate and thank you for being authentic when you speak.

Thanks for your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on how you’re thinking about achieving the possibility of your promise. Also, I would appreciate any suggestions you might have for future posts in this blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

TheBrain Tamer introduces “The ABC's of Executive Speaking”

“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt

In my practice, The Speech Wiz, I coach executives on how they can become high level speakers and leaders. Many of my clients get to speak in a variety of settings from boardrooms to conferences, webinars to meetings, and more. Over the years, I have learned from my clients that the type of speaking they do is highly driven, temporal, and critical to the success of their businesses, organizations and careers. I have also learned that what they do is not classic public speaking but a leadership style that relies heavily on their ability to convey authenticity, practice brevity and demonstrate the highest level of clarity regarding the content and purpose of their speaking.

This knowledge led me to formulate a framework for executive speakers I call “The ABC’s of Executive Speaking”.

WHAT IS EXECUTIVE SPEAKING

Executive Speaking is a category of business communication with high impact, extreme focus, and immediacy. It is most effective when practiced with intention, awareness and skill. Executive speaking is high on content, more relaxed on formality and pivotal to advancing the goals of leadership, policy and engagement. Executive speaking happens whenever and wherever leaders engage their workforce, stakeholders, shareholders, prospects, and customers.

SO SIMPLE, ANYONE CAN DO IT

If you are an executive or aspire to become one, the sooner you embrace “The ABC’s of Executive Speaking” the sooner you will reap its benefits. It is no secret that, in the workplace, the fastest and easiest way to distinguish yourself from others is to demonstrate command and use of advanced communication skills.  Employees with advanced communication are regularly promoted from the ranks of workforces around the globe to take on leadership roles, lead initiatives, and foster change and growth.

The leader who engages “The ABC’s of Executive Speaking” framework will lead better meetings, experience the thrill of truly connecting to their audience, and establish increasingly higher levels of trustworthiness and credibility. They will inspire, motivate, and transform those they lead by demonstrating the strength one gets from being genuine, respectful of other’s time, and model the ability to convey important information simply and effectively.

Anyone can command the skills within the “The ABC’s of Executive Speaking” framework. Mastering “The ABC’s of Executive Speaking” does not require an advanced degree, years of experience, or an impressive title. All you need to succeed is awareness of the elements, a desire to elevate your speaking skillset, and the ability to embrace every speaking opportunity that comes your way.

AN OPEN INVITATION

Over the next three blog posts I will be examining each of the elements of “the ABC’s of Executive Speaking” framework. They are Authenticity, Brevity and Clarity. You’re invited to follow these blogs and gain insight into this simple and highly effective framework for becoming a truly effective and impactful executive speaker. If you lead an organization, I encourage you to invite those you lead to follow these blogs as well.

Thanks for your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on how you’re thinking about achieving the possibility of your promise.  Also, I would appreciate any suggestions you might have for future posts in this blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Here's what it takes to speak like an effective executive.

“There are good leaders who actively guide and bad leaders who actively misguide.
Hence, leadership is about persuasion, presentation and people skills.”
Shiv Khers

A survey conducted a couple of years ago with leading CEOs and CHROs by the Society for Human Resources (SHRM) and the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) concluded that the one skill most valued and most absent in the current workforce was communication skills.

Let’s let that settle in for a moment.

Huh? How could that be?

Don’t big companies prefer leaders that know how to “get things done”, “increase productivity and efficiency”, and “inspire greatness in their employees”?

Well, “Yes” they do. But guess what, these are all things that hard skills find extremely challenging to accomplish.

Why? Because they deeply rely on changing the mindsets and behaviors of people. There are no pills for this. No algorithms, forecasts or computer models either. The only method known to mankind for achieving these business aspirations is the effective practice of genuine, highly focused and clear communication.

Today, this role in business is filled by the executive speaker. The reality is, it is not being done effectively in far too many corners of the business world.

So, how can you become a more effective executive speaker?

THE ABC’S OF EXECUTIVE SPEAKING

Becoming an effective executive speaker requires you to practice and master The ABC’s of Executive Speaking. They are Authenticity, Brevity and Clarity. These three attributes comprise the heart of every effective executive speaker. If you truly want to speak like an effective executive, with all of its power and promise, you must exhibit these qualities when you speak. Nothing less will do.

AUTHENTICITY

Being an effective executive speaker begins and, for intents and purposes, ends here. If you cannot speak with an authentic voice your value, trustworthiness and legacy as an executive will not be firmly established. Authenticity is the foundation upon which everything you say as an executive speaker is built. Authenticity can be thought of as a quality of genuineness, supremely unique to you, the speaker. It is a state of existence in which your natural personality, ethos and pathos are free to surface and make sincere connection to your audience.

Do not confuse Authenticity with Transparency. Transparency is about establishing clear and unfettered access to all elements of an enterprise or endeavor. While an Authentic speaker should be comfortable with being transparent, what can and cannot be disclosed at certain times to certain audiences still remains situational within the world of business. Delicate discretion is a key tool of the Authentic speaker.

Authenticity is a genuine quality of self. Your Authenticity will be established when your audience senses you are …

Genuine – being true to yourself
In Hamlet (Act 1, Scene 3) Shakespeare wrote, "This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Do not pretend to be someone you are not. Beyond honesty being the best policy, it is the only policy for a speaker.

Credible
Do not knowingly deceive or misrepresent the facts to your audience in order to support a false agenda. All professional speakers know that the most important character you bring to the stage is the one of a truthfulness that holds the highest respect for your audience, while you safeguard them from harm.

Valid
Your audience must understand the information you share has value. Value in your perspective, concreteness of fact, and the sincerity of your intent. Your content must be timely, accurate and impact them in a meaningful way.

Legitimate
As an authentic executive speaker, you confidently own content that is originally yours, credit fully content you have borrowed from others, and humbly share what you have learned with your audience.

Trustworthy
When writing on success, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Self-trust is the first secret of success.” You goal as an authentic executive speaker is to leave your audience feeling comfortable and trusting in the content you have shared. You must be able to help your audience trust you by showing them you trust yourself through both words and actions.

From Authenticity we connect to the next attribute, Brevity.

BREVITY

While Shakespeare was busy getting Hamlet to be a truer person, he was also letting us know that getting to the point of your message (not sword) is essential to effective speaking when he wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

In executive circles, Brevity is a sign of respect. “Time is money,” as they say. In today’s business environment, people are doing more and more with less and less available time. They prize their time as the precious possession it is. Effective executive speakers do not waste their audience’s time.

In business this means being…

• Concise

• Succinct

• Economical

• Compact

Getting to the point requires you to weed out any content that may be unnecessary. It means you have to learn how to be precise in both content and language. It means learning how to be terse.

It’s tough to be terse.

Executive subject matter experts struggle with limiting the vastness of their knowledge when speaking to their audiences. They often dowse them with a fire hose when a sprinkler will do. Being economical of language and content is a great way to practice the brevity essential to your skill as an effective executive speaker.

Now we can bring it all together by connecting Authenticity and Brevity to the third attribute, Clarity.

CLARITY

For an effective executive speaker, Clarity equals Certainty. You speak and share only facts about which there is no doubt based on the current information you have validated.

To speak with Clarity, you must:

• Choose your words with a preciseness that avoids confusion or obfuscation.

• Avoid confusing your audience with a plethora of acronyms and jargon.

• Help your audience maintain their focus on what you are saying by limiting or removing all interferences including “ums”, “likes” and “you knows”.

• Speak clearly with proper pronunciation, articulation and grammar.

• Answer every question you pose.

• Be confident, assertive and determined.

• Clarity is the ability to help your audience remember and repeat the core of your message and the point of your speech.

GOOD LEADERS ARE EFFECTIVE EXECUTIVE SPEAKERS

Shiv Khers, one of the world’s leading self-help authors, motivational speakers and activists said, “There are good leaders who actively guide and bad leaders who actively misguide. Hence, leadership is about persuasion, presentation and people skills.”

Every executive ought to challenge their ability to be an effective executive speaker by learning and practicing The ABC’s of Executive Speaking. The Universe knows how sorely lacking and how desperately the world needs effective executive speakers. It shouldn’t take a survey to tell us what we already know. The best way to motivate, inspire and transform people is through the power of the spoken word. Humanity has been doing this since the first spark ignited a communal fire.

The best way for you to accelerate your career into and through the executive ranks, build consensus for your most important initiatives, and establish yourself as a thought leader in your professional field is to become a master of The ABC’s of Executive Speaking. When you do you will become highly valued and sought after by businesses, organizations, and colleagues.

This blog is rooted in helping my readers develop the essential people skills they need to succeed as speakers and in other areas of their lives. Many of you are executives, aspiring to become one, and/or a more successful speaker. This blog is here to support you with articles like this one. I deeply appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Why the sheer brilliance of using a deep conversation to create a high-value relationship is utterly priceless.

"Deep conversations with the right people are priceless."
Anonymous

As of late, the art of conversation has been taking a beating. We all know it and, most importantly, we all see it. People still meet for lunch or dinner, but they don’t talk much to each other. Instead, they just immerse themselves in technology, only occasionally sharing a tweet or text. It’s all very surface level and hardly ever goes deeply into what really matters. While they are developing relationships, many of these people are missing out on the priceless value deeper conversation offers.

THE ART OF THE PRICELESS

For many years, I have been coaching my leadership and speaking clients to get out of their ivory tower and talk to their people. If all you know about a person is what is on their resumé, you “don’t know nothin’” about them. The same thing goes for colleagues as well. I once worked at a communications agency where we were prohibited from talking to each other except as it related to work.

A communications agency!

Hard to believe? Not really.

In many corporate circles, conversation is considered a waste of time. Idle chatter. The devil’s playground.

But, research has found that practicing the art of conversation is a sound business strategy. Even without the research, having deep conversations with clients, colleagues and audiences is a fundamentally sound behavior. After all, when you take a business and separate the processes and product from the enterprise what you have left are the people that work there. The same people that will spend endless hours pouring their souls into a product or service can hardly be bothered to explore and discover what matters most in their professional, public, and personal lives.

For many leaders, conversations may appear to be an unnecessary, costly expense. But what they are destined to learn when building a high-functioning team, is that deep conversations between the players is critical. This may not be news to some, but it is certainly a revelation on the state of human nature to many. What some leaders and speakers may view as a costly extravagance is actually a priceless experience.

Recently, Joe Maddon, World Series winning manager of the Chicago Cubs, has begun taking to dinner players who may be struggling or underperforming. It is his belief that getting to know the player better through deep conversations is a critical part of his job. He knows there is a postive benefit when the player knows his manager has concern for more than what happens between the foul lines. Maddon is it in for the long game, because winning is the result of lots of small wins collected over time. He knows winning in life has a direct correlation to winning on the field. He sees a manager’s role as not just managing how a team plays but managing the people who play on the team as well.

Deep conversations are the very foundation of a strong relationship. To build a strong lasting relationship all parties have to be invested in the process. Or, as our giraffes in the photo accompanying this blog demonstrate, sometimes you have to be willing to stick your neck out to get results. To build a strong relationship through deep conversations you must be willing to give details and disclosures about yourself (company) as well as receive the same in return from the other side of the relationship. Deep conversations really are priceless.

THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT CYCLE

A while back, I developed The Relationship Development Cycle, a model for helping all of my clients learn how they could build stronger relationships. Stronger relationships with their clients, teams, and audiences. Through the use of this model, my clients are able to deepen the relationships they have with themselves (as leaders and speakers) and with others in the course of doing business, enhancing their communities, and enriching their personal and family lives.

The Relationship Development Cycle has five stages (Desire, Exploration, Discovery, Negotiation and Acceptance) that continuously revolve around a central hub (Trust) for stability. The engagement of this model can help anyone develop a deeper understanding and relationship with any person, place or thing. You can apply it to a skillset or a dataset. It works the same so long as the first stage (Desire) is present in the relationship. Without Desire, all relationships crumble through entropy and eventually cease to exist. It is one reason we tend to lose friendships over time. Without the Desire to maintain the relationship, it has a natural tendency to falter.

The hub of Trust acts to align the relationship based on the truthfulness of the information exchanged throughout the relationship.

If (when engaging this model to develop a deeper personal relationship with yourself about a skill, emotion or experience) you cannot maintain complete honesty, your self-relationship will spin out of alignment due to an imbalance of honest information. Since we often “lie” to ourselves as a defense mechanism many of us don’t often have the best relationships with ourselves. Don’t you deserve better?

You are one of the right people. Have a deep conversation with yourself.

The ability to build a strong relationship is not a “just add water” activity. It takes time, sincerity, honesty, creativity, and bravery to expose yourself willingly to another person (including yourself). For western thinkers it requires the ability to allow yourself time for reflection. Something the western mind tends to struggle with grasping.

In a recent commencement address to his daughter’s graduations class, Chief Justice John Roberts urged the graduates to “to stay involved with yourself." He imparted to them the following sentiment, "My advice is, when you get to college, to set a little time aside each day to think about things instead of simply acquiring more information. Do not read more, do not research more, do not take notes. Put aside books, papers, computers, telephones. Sit, perhaps just for a half hour, and think about what you're learning."

SOUND BUSINESS THINKING

If your goal is to build better work groups with higher levels of performance and reliability, I can recommend no better way than to practice The Relationship Development Cycle. Challenge all members of your organization to learn more about who they are, what they want and what they need from the work they do by engaging this model between themselves. Once you learn what people dream to achieve, you will see how you can help them fuel that desire.

For leaders and speakers, The Relationship Development Cycle is critical to developing the deep thought platforms you seek to use when communicating concepts and processes to your audience. By engaging The Relationship Development Cycle you’ll learn to stretch your ability for self-examination, strengthen your thinking muscle, and overcome the tendency to settle for the easy answers to tough questions. Remember, your value to individuals and organizations rest solely on the uniqueness of your vision and your ability to effectively articulate that vision with authority, brevity and clarity.

Click this link for a free copy of my one-page document about The Relationship Development Cycle and feel free to share it with colleagues, friends and partners. Most importantly, share The Relationship Development Cycle with yourself. Start today to begin building a strong relationship with yourself on a host of topics through deep intrapersonal conversations. You’ll soon see the most amazing transformation begin to happen when you stick your neck out just a little.

While you’re at it, stick your neck out a little and please share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer