Eagerly Explaining How to Become Less Anxious When Choosing the Words You Say.

Batter Up!
It’s baseball season. At this time every year, I get excited for two reasons. I love baseball and it means, the weather gods permitting, Spring is just around the corner.
It also means that while batters may be slugging the ball around the outfield, they are regularly clubbing the heck out of the English language.
Here are just three instances for your enlightenment.

• Anxious vs. Eager

• The Future Ahead

• Masterful Malapropisms

Ready or Not, Here I come?

At the start of every baseball season, I can predict with an absolute degree of certainty that before any team breaks Spring Training, some player, during some random interview will confidently say the following, “We have a great team with a great bunch of talented guys. I think this team has what it takes to win. I am anxious to get the season started.”

Everything that player is saying is all real positive, right up until the end. Every sentiment expressed about his team, its members and their prospect for the season is all positive. And, if that is the case, then why is he “anxious” to start the season.

Most likely he speaks this way because he just does not know the difference between the words “anxious” and “eager”. He is not alone. Unfortunately, in the battle of Anxious v. Eager, anxious almost always wins. This is simply because most people don’t know how to, or even more sadly don’t care to, correctly use these two words. Here’s why this is important.

In his book, “Leadership Is an Art”, Max De Pree puts it this way, that a leader must have “…a respect for the English language, an acknowledgement that muddy language usually means muddy thinking and that our audience may need something special from us.”

In the speaking world we characterize this as “saying what you mean and meaning what you say”.

In her fantastic grammar reference book “Woe Is I”, Patricia T. O’Conner explains that “you can be eager to do something” or you can be “anxious about doing something” but you cannot be both. I use this rule: use “eager” when you are feeling positive or looking forward to the experience and use “anxious” when you are uncertain or have anxiety about the experience.

For instance, “I am eager to go on vacation, but anxious about flying.”

The difference may appear to be subtle to you, but to the listener it clearly indicates a specific state of mind. One of the primary functions of language is to create higher levels of understanding.

As a leader and speaker this is your primary goal.

Meanwhile Back in the Booth

Baseball has a rich tradition of colorful language from Dizzy Dean to Yogi Berra. Who cannot help but chuckle at Yogi’s comment about a popular nightspot when he said, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.” Whether Yogi intended to solicit a laugh or not, his unique way of speaking made him an adept practitioner of the fine balance between humor and accurate language. Here’s another, “It gets late, early there.” It causes us to think a bit and then “get it” after we parse the sentence.

But, unlike Yogi, today’s sportscasters (impromptu speakers) are required to banter back and forth hurling random superlatives in a verbal game of “pepper”. Sometimes what comes out of their mouths is verbally redundant chatter. Among my favorites is, “He’s a really fantastic player whose future is right in front of him.” Where else would it be? Certainly not right behind him. We call that the past. And, while “past may be prologue”, it can never be the future. Or as Yogi once said, “The future ain’t what it used to be”.

Masterful Malapropisms

It’s been said, “You are what you eat.” In truth, you are what you say or what people think they heard you say. Sometimes we mean to say one word and another similar sounding word comes out in its place. This is called a malapropism. The term 'Malapropism' is derived from the French term mal a propos, which translates as 'ill to purpose'.

Once, Danny Ozark, who managed the Philadelphia Phillies was asked about one of his outfielders and he replied, “His limitations are limitless”.

Back in the 80’s, the TV character Archie Bunker from All in the Family, would utter malapropisms at an alarming rate. Here are a few. "Buy one of them battery operated transvestite radios." And, "A woman doctor is only good for women’s problems…like your groinocology." Or my favorite, "A witness shall not bear falsies against thy neighbor."

If humor is your intent, a good malapropism can go a long way as long as you’re willing to have your audience laugh at your self-deprecating use of language.

But if your goal is to lead and inspire people by delivering precisely chosen words of high impact and value, you would do well to head Mark Twains’ advice (from the top of this blog) about the difference between the right word and the almost right word.

Lightning rarely strikes the same place twice and a speaker who confuses their audience with incorrect word selection will rarely get a chance to do it more than once as well.

Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

How to achieve success with the genius of “The Three Principles”.

In most crimes, the solution rests on three things; means, motive and opportunity. There is no greater mystery than the unfolding of your life. And just like a good mystery, it also centers itself around means, motive and opportunity. Every human being who has ever desired to change the future, improve their skills, or build their self-esteem has confronted these three things by engaging the “The Three Principles of Success”.

The Three Principles of Success

Have you ever watched an infant begin to take its first steps?

If you have, you’ve probably noticed how quickly they get back up after they have fallen? That’s because, whether they know it or not, they are acting on their encoded secret plan to achieve success.

Do you want to know what the secret is?

It’s “The Three Principles of Success”.

The Three Principles are:

1. The Principle of Purpose

2. The Principle of Passion and

3. The Principle of Persistency

Defining Your Purpose

Perhaps the most common question people ask is, “What is my Purpose in life?”

In order to answer that question, it is necessary to answer these questions first, “What do I Want?”, “What do I Have?”, and “What do I Need?”.

A Want or a Need are the objective goals that compel you to seek and begin change in your life. Wants and Needs are assessment tools that help you determine the abundance and priority of What you have as a means to your end.

Defining your Purpose is first step in solving your life’s mystery. A Purpose is a What, a means. Purpose along with its cousin Passion create the vision of the destination you seek to achieve. Your Purpose is personal. It is impossible to succeed at achieving someone else’s Purpose. You cannot and will not succeed at it unless you make it your own unwavering Purpose.

It might take you time to clearly define the Purpose of your life. But be careful. Many people often define Purpose through short term thinking.

“I need to make enough money to take a vacation.”

Making money is a means to an end, but not the Purpose. The Purpose is the end, the vacation. The Purpose is the value exchange you will receive from the vacation you will take. The scope of your Purpose might change as you expand the range of your vision. A weekend at the shore may be immediately achievable but sailing around the world may take a little more planning. Both are clearly achievable goals, requiring varying degrees of unwavering Purpose.

Defining your Purpose is your first step in achieving a desired success. Take some time to flesh it out. Allow it to mature. Study it. Question it. Investigate it. If, after all of your probing research is done, you still feel the same burning Purpose and Passion for the end result, it is rightfully yours to own and achieve.

Discovering Your Passion

Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) is noted for saying, “The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why.”

Your passion is your “why”.

Passion addresses the “Why” or “Motive” of your crime.

Your Passion is as unique to you as your fingerprints. No two passions are alike.

But, understand this one basic rule, “You cannot succeed at someone else’s passion.”

No matter what desires others may have for you, what dreams they hold and hopes they desire, They are not yours, unless to totally intend to make them so.

Think deeply about your Passion. Does it truly answer your deepest “Why”?

Designing Your Persistency

Developing Persistency requires continual “gut-checking”. Intestinal fortitude will tell you if you have a stomach for what you may have to swallow on the journey to your destination. I call this developing a “Capacity for Tenacity”.

Running a marathon requires more than just showing up for the starting gun. Hour upon hour of training through all types of weather and terrain is required. Alterations to diet, conditioning, sleep, communal time, etc. all fall victim to the desires of the long-distance runner. Being a “long-distance” runner is a metaphor for whatever desire you pursue. It will take time, energy, talent and treasure to reach your goal. Getting there requires tenacity, an unyielding Persistence.

But what happens when you become drained, depleted of all resources, and run out of gas?

What happens when you are at the end of your rope?

What to Do When You’re at the End of Your R.O.P.E.

Get more R.O.P.E.!

When you hit a “wall” of resistance, that is the time to step back, assess your progress and dig in with unyielding Persistence. Access your R.O.P.E.

R.O.P.E. is your Reserve Of Persistent Energy. Persistent Energy is your resolution to succeed. No matter how much someone may want something for you, they cannot do it for you. If they do, it is not yours, it is theirs. You may have it, use it, and abuse it. But, you will never truly own it. It will always be a gift replete with all of the encumbrances of a gift including the gratitude and responsibility associated with accepting it.

If you want to own your achievements, R.O.P.E. is a controllable way to get there.

The Four Horsemen of Failure

Distractions, Obstacles, Limitations, and Entropy. These are the “Four Horsemen of Failure”.

Very often, when beginning on a quest, you find yourself facing a daunting journey. Why not? If it were easy everybody would be doing it.

Let’s say you need a paper clip. You have two choices. Make one or buy one. Making a paper clip and buying a paper clip are two totally different experiences. One is possible given degrees of application in time, talent and money. The other is simply a shopping task. Or a quick trip to the next cubicle. But let’s suppose for a moment that you live in a pre-paper clip world. Would you have enough tenacity to bring it all together?

Well, we all live in a “pre” something world. If we don’t have it, haven’t done it, or haven’t seen it, it is all imagined. But, you can plot the course before you “set sail” on your journey by designing a set of unbreakable Persistency that will enable you to reach your destination.

Persistence is the “firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition”. We sometimes call this “single-mindedness” or “extreme focus”. There is nothing wrong with having this behavioral trait. But, like all good things in life, it must find its place in the life-balance continuum.

This Persistency will make up your “Won’t Power.” Your Persistency will include promises that you are not willing to break. If you do they have a considerable ability to undermine your success. As a start, let your unbreakable Persistency address the Four Horsemen of Failure.

Distractions. Design a set of promises that specifically address the circumstance under which you will allow yourself to be distracted from your goal. Accept these as being OK, and everything else as forbidden.

Obstacles. Make a list of the obstacles you see on your journey and design promises with strategies for how you will confront and surmount these impediments to progress. Don’t back down. Be firm. Have your own back.

Limitations. These are the things you need to achieve your goal that you do not currently have. Design promises that with set you on a path toward acquiring the things you need to succeed. Realize they may not be immediately acquirable but certainly attainable given time, talent and treasure.

Entropy. No matter how much energy you have at the start of your journey, you will continually need ever increasing amounts of energy to stay the course until you reach your goal. This is not your fault. This is the Universe at work. Entropy is the universal law that says everything has a tendency towards deterioration. Gravity wins. Friction slows you down. Design some promises that will help you get tough when the going gets rough.

There is genius and simple wisdom in this practice. If you build the palace of your desires on the Three Principles of Success you will find is has footing on a solid, proven base of beliefs, behaviors, and shared genius of countless successful people.

Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer