Do you know what the 3 stories are that every executive must be able to tell?

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me,
because I'd like to hear it again."
Groucho Marx

Once upon a time there was an idea that struck a very eager entrepreneur as the basis for the creation of an amazing enterprise. As time passed, this visionary’s dream began to generate amazing products and services that not only changed the world, but the way the people who used these great products and services began to see themselves. One user of this company’s fantastic, revolutionary, and cutting-edge technology transformed itself overnight into a dynamic, global leader in people to people commercial exchange and a paragon of social action and responsibility.

There are no names to put to this story. There is really no need to. Because, whether the facts are real or imagined, the elements of this story are essential to the culture, growth and sustainability of every business. The stories within this larger epic are the three basic stories that every executive must learn and be able to tell with unbridled enthusiasm, humility and sincerity.

Do you know the three stories that every executive must be able to tell?

Allow me, please, to share some insights with you regarding the three stories and how you can use them to promote yourself and your business.

First, what are the three stories?

The three stories every executive must be able to tell are:

1. The Origin Story

2. The Product Story

3. The Customer Story

Let’s look into each one and see how it might best serve your needs.

THE ORIGIN STORY

Origin stories are tales of passion. They ignite the imagination of the listener and ask them to surrender their attention to the details of a rise from nothingness to established existence. Some origin stories are about unlikely partnerships uniquely forged upon a spark of genius. Others portray courageous visionaries steadfastly pursuing a dream from a garage or a dorm room.

Whatever story relates the foundational moments of your enterprise, as an executive, you must learn how to embrace it, retell it and infuse it with a passion equal to that of the originators in your story.

You must be ever mindful of the many audiences a good origin story serves. Origin stories can inspire investors, recruit top talent, establish a solid ground for a longer relationship, and provide the fundamental core behind a business’s culture and its proud traditions.

Without exception, the telling of the origin story is a primary duty of every executive from the middle to the top and back again.

THE PRODUCT STORY

Once the purview of marketing and public relations, the proliferation of social media into business marketing channels has enabled all executive players within an enterprise to relate the value, features and benefits of every product in the line.

Behind every service or product is the story of why it exists, how it came to be and what unique qualities justify the loyalty of consumers or end users. The product space is crowded in this arena, (social media) where the best, boldest and cleverest grab the lion’s share of the bandwidth shared by readers and raters for shoppers and buyers.

Today, people exhaust all avenues to uncover the good, the bad and the ugly of a product before making their “buy” decision. An artfully crafted and well told product story can have enormous effect on cementing a product’s ranking in search engines, blogs and other aggregators of opinions and reviews.

As an executive, you must know these stories down to the deepest detail. You must be able to recall them with enthusiasm and purpose. The product story is an incredible opportunity to relate value, innovation and excellence in a single experience.

THE CUSTOMER STORY

Whether you read or hear a review from a customer, it has real bearing on your perception of a company and its products. The customer story is a powerful way to relate to prospective customers the deep levels of satisfaction your company and its products have achieved.

Many executives ignore this fertile ground of storytelling, failing to understand its powerful role in breeding new customers and retaining current ones as well.

A well told customer story is a powerful testimonial bearing witness to the passion, promise, and reliability of doing business with your organization. It extends beyond the performance of a single product or products to reach the much more significant value of a relationship built on trust and fidelity. Every executive should have a briefcase (or backpack) full of customer stories suitable for sharing with a vast array of audiences.

THE STORY YOU HEARD BEFORE

As Groucho Marx quipped, “If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again." As an executive storyteller, you will. Likewise, you will become used to telling these stories and yearn for the chance to do so at every opportunity. The telling must never be done rotely or robotically. Instead the telling of these stories should be fulfilled by those within any organization with a high degree of passion and the honor it bears.

An executive telling any of the three stories, The Origin, The Product and The Customer, should never tire of the unique opportunities they afford to build, buoy and bond a relationship for the betterment of the served and the server.

I deeply appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Eagerly Explaining How to Become Less Anxious When Choosing the Words You Say.

Batter Up!
It’s baseball season. At this time every year, I get excited for two reasons. I love baseball and it means, the weather gods permitting, Spring is just around the corner.
It also means that while batters may be slugging the ball around the outfield, they are regularly clubbing the heck out of the English language.
Here are just three instances for your enlightenment.

• Anxious vs. Eager

• The Future Ahead

• Masterful Malapropisms

Ready or Not, Here I come?

At the start of every baseball season, I can predict with an absolute degree of certainty that before any team breaks Spring Training, some player, during some random interview will confidently say the following, “We have a great team with a great bunch of talented guys. I think this team has what it takes to win. I am anxious to get the season started.”

Everything that player is saying is all real positive, right up until the end. Every sentiment expressed about his team, its members and their prospect for the season is all positive. And, if that is the case, then why is he “anxious” to start the season.

Most likely he speaks this way because he just does not know the difference between the words “anxious” and “eager”. He is not alone. Unfortunately, in the battle of Anxious v. Eager, anxious almost always wins. This is simply because most people don’t know how to, or even more sadly don’t care to, correctly use these two words. Here’s why this is important.

In his book, “Leadership Is an Art”, Max De Pree puts it this way, that a leader must have “…a respect for the English language, an acknowledgement that muddy language usually means muddy thinking and that our audience may need something special from us.”

In the speaking world we characterize this as “saying what you mean and meaning what you say”.

In her fantastic grammar reference book “Woe Is I”, Patricia T. O’Conner explains that “you can be eager to do something” or you can be “anxious about doing something” but you cannot be both. I use this rule: use “eager” when you are feeling positive or looking forward to the experience and use “anxious” when you are uncertain or have anxiety about the experience.

For instance, “I am eager to go on vacation, but anxious about flying.”

The difference may appear to be subtle to you, but to the listener it clearly indicates a specific state of mind. One of the primary functions of language is to create higher levels of understanding.

As a leader and speaker this is your primary goal.

Meanwhile Back in the Booth

Baseball has a rich tradition of colorful language from Dizzy Dean to Yogi Berra. Who cannot help but chuckle at Yogi’s comment about a popular nightspot when he said, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.” Whether Yogi intended to solicit a laugh or not, his unique way of speaking made him an adept practitioner of the fine balance between humor and accurate language. Here’s another, “It gets late, early there.” It causes us to think a bit and then “get it” after we parse the sentence.

But, unlike Yogi, today’s sportscasters (impromptu speakers) are required to banter back and forth hurling random superlatives in a verbal game of “pepper”. Sometimes what comes out of their mouths is verbally redundant chatter. Among my favorites is, “He’s a really fantastic player whose future is right in front of him.” Where else would it be? Certainly not right behind him. We call that the past. And, while “past may be prologue”, it can never be the future. Or as Yogi once said, “The future ain’t what it used to be”.

Masterful Malapropisms

It’s been said, “You are what you eat.” In truth, you are what you say or what people think they heard you say. Sometimes we mean to say one word and another similar sounding word comes out in its place. This is called a malapropism. The term 'Malapropism' is derived from the French term mal a propos, which translates as 'ill to purpose'.

Once, Danny Ozark, who managed the Philadelphia Phillies was asked about one of his outfielders and he replied, “His limitations are limitless”.

Back in the 80’s, the TV character Archie Bunker from All in the Family, would utter malapropisms at an alarming rate. Here are a few. "Buy one of them battery operated transvestite radios." And, "A woman doctor is only good for women’s problems…like your groinocology." Or my favorite, "A witness shall not bear falsies against thy neighbor."

If humor is your intent, a good malapropism can go a long way as long as you’re willing to have your audience laugh at your self-deprecating use of language.

But if your goal is to lead and inspire people by delivering precisely chosen words of high impact and value, you would do well to head Mark Twains’ advice (from the top of this blog) about the difference between the right word and the almost right word.

Lightning rarely strikes the same place twice and a speaker who confuses their audience with incorrect word selection will rarely get a chance to do it more than once as well.

Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

How to Be an Amazing Speaker and Always Know Your Place

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”
George Jessel

“It is so hard for me to learn the speech I’ve written. Even though I know my stuff, I still lose my place when speaking.”

This comment is a very common issue I encounter in my speech coaching practice. It is one that many speakers struggle to eliminate, many without a lot of success. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I understand your frustration and would like to offer you the following three pieces of advice to help you become an amazing speaker and always know your place:

1. Don’t Write that Speech

2. Write for the eye, speak for the ear

3. Don’t Memorize, Familiarize

Don’t Write That Speech

Recently I received the manuscript of a 40-minute speech that was written in full prose. It was 9 pages long, single spaced, and over 4500 words long. The speaker had talked to me about having difficulty being able to learn, remember and execute all of the content. Part of the anxiety existed around not wanting to miss “some really great lines’ that were written.

Here’s my Tip #1. Don’t write your speech!

I never write a speech. Occasionally, in the context of my notes, I may write a complete sentence. But, shortly after working on the speech, I have reduced the sentence to a key word or two.

So, what do you do if you can’t write a speech? Create it in an outline.

An outline is a highly valuable tool for a speaker. Using an outline makes you focus on the gist of your content. An effective outline has two parts: format and content.

Most speeches follow a basic outline style with a small element added to achieve a desired effect. Other speeches have specific outlines designed to address the occasion of the speech. The key in any outline is to follow the prescribed format, concentrating your content on the key words and phrases you’ll need to know to deliver your speech. Following and practicing a speech based on an outline will also help you to remember the order and substance of your content.

When you write out a speech in its entirety, you may have a tendency to write it in essay style. This creates two problems for you as a speaker. First, you will fall in love with the lovely words and phrases you’ve written. Second, you will try to remember the essay. Remember, your goal is to be an amazing speaker, not an amazing reader.

Both of these problems lead me to Tip #2.

Write for the Eye, Speak for the Ear

You’re no doubt aware that some people learn better by reading and some by hearing. How do you learn best?

When we speak, we are tasked with making everybody learn best by hearing. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Here’s why.

When we write, we write for the eyes. When a person reads it is a solitary experience. The reader sets the pace, pausing where and when it is necessary in order to maximize understanding of the written material. If the reader doesn’t get it, they can stop. Reread it. Look up a word or term they don’t understand. With the written word, the reader is in total control.

In speaking, the circumstance is very different. During a speech the audience is a collective noun. One entity with many ears and disparate brains all experiencing speaker driven and delivered content with the intent of increasing their understanding of new concept or process.

The speaker’s solution for this challenge is to adhere to a practice of repetition that has proven itself effective in all settings. I like to call this repetition method, “The 3 T’s”. It exists as a basic communications tenet of advertising, commercials, and really effective communicators. The 3 T’s, designed to increase the effectiveness of what you say to your audience, are as follows:

1. Tell the them you are going to tell them

2. Tell them

3. Tell them you’ve told them

Most beginning speakers react negatively to this formula. They feel, “all of this repetition just insults my audiences’ intelligence.” In truth, nothing insults an audience more than a speaker who just barrels on about something without taking the time to adequately prepare the audience to receive their content. This is what The 3 T’s looks like in a basic speech outline.

Click here to download The 3 T's

Don’t Memorize, Familiarize

Earlier in this piece I wrote about the difficulty many speakers encounter when they write out their speech and then try to memorize it. All of that added anxiety, and for what?

When you create a speech your speaking goal is to effectively convey a central message and key supporting points to your audience. How you say it is important, but not critical.

Working within an outline will help you to hone in on that central point and be able to say it in a variety of ways. By doing this, you will become spontaneous and fluent in the expression of what you want your audience to take away from your speech. The outline will help you to develop and familiarize yourself with that main point as well as the supporting points you plan to cover. And, because the outline provides a graphic/textual order to the flow of your speech, it will help you to remember the order of the material you plan to cover as well.

“Familiarity does not breed contempt, it breeds content.”
Don E. Smith

It's all about planned spontaneity. About being able to sound more conversational and less like a computer, rotely spewing out memorized data without feeling or connection to your audience.

Memorization brings an unnecessary level of anxiety into play. I believe it is the #2 cause of speaker anxiety. In most situations, a speaker will only deliver their content one or two times. I would much rather listen to a well-organized, practiced, and connected speaker who is comfortable referring to their notes, than someone who tried to memorize their content but ends up apologizing over and over again for missing or forgetting sections of their speech. By the way, most audiences would too!

It’s a safe bet that if you follow the three pieces of advice that I have shared in this blog, 1) Don’t Write that Speech, 2) Write for the eye, speak for the ear, and 3) Don’t Memorize, Familiarize you Will Be an Amazing Speaker and Always Know Your Place.

Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

What are the Three Reasons You Need to Speak?

“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”
William Butler Yeats

Whether you speak for a living or as part of your job, understanding the fundamental reason for speaking can be very powerful. So powerful in fact, that it cannot only compel change, it can propel it.

Over the last six years I have had the privilege of coaching courageous survivors of sexual violence in the art of speaking in the Survivors Speak program of Jane Doe No More. Recently, I was recognized by this incredible organization for the contributions I have made to this program. But, as I sat in the audience listening to the words of appreciation from some of “my” speakers, I realized how small my contribution was compared to the impact this chorus of voices has had through the speeches they give and the character they exhibit.

Each of these people resonate incredibly with their audiences because they exemplify the fundamentals behind The Reasons You Need to Speak.

Why Do We Speak?

Speaking is as much an act of compulsion as its counterpart Silence. Both are an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way.

When I coach clients in both speaking and success strategies, I always help them draw distinctions between a Want and a Need. A Want is something you’d like to have. A Need is something you cannot do without.

Speaking, I believe, is an absolute Need. I can’t imagine a day going by without saying something.

In speaking, the object is to draw a distinction between meaningful content and idyll chatter. Speaking is organized thought audibly expressed. Talking or conversation, is a give and take. It is loosely organized around being socially adept at reading cues and allowing for the give and take that makes talking with others so rewarding.

The time allotted a speaker is the significant differentiator between speaking and a conversation. The art of speaking is the ability to make it appear to be a conversation while you do all of the talking. I put it this way to my clients, “A speech is a conversation you have with an audience except it is your turn to do all of the talking.”

Lots of people today, particularly as a result of social media, have more opportunities to say something to a broader audience than in the history of humanity. The consequence of this is a lot of stuff is being said, by a lot of people, all of the time. Some of it is very good and equally, some of it not so good. The critical nature of this current trend is to draw a distinction between two categories of speaker; “those who speak because they can” and “those who speak because they should.”

Those Who Speak Because They Can

In the “those who speak because they can” category I place a lot of executives, politicians, educators, authority figures, and internet hyper-marketers. Once in a while you might hear a speaker who really “nails it.” Unfortunately, the majority don’t. They meander, stumble, and bombard you with an onslaught of “ums” and “ahs”. Worst of all, they struggle to get to their point and often leave you scratching your head asking, “What was that all about?” Sometimes I wonder if they even care about their audiences.

I wish I had the time to work with every one of them. My insights could go a long way toward helping them lead and inspire the audiences they address.

Those Who Speak Because They Should

In the “those who speak because they should” category I place deep thinkers, subject experts, innovators, dreamers, activists, motivators and transformers. Once again, to my chagrin, you might hear a speaker who really “nails it.” Unfortunately, the majority don’t. They also tend to meander, stumble, and bombard you with an onslaught of “ums” and “ahs”. Any of these speakers who struggle to get to their point, leaving you scratching your head asking, “What was that all about?” have done a disservice to you, their central cause, and the collective conversation that relies so heavily on their content. And again, I wonder if they even care about their audiences.

If I could interest them in a session or two, I know I could increase their effectiveness.

The Three Reasons You Need to Speak

When I reflect on the speakers I have trained in the Survivors Speak program, they all represent the best of the “those who speak because they should” category. They do this because they have lived the silence of an unspeakable act and survived to regain the power that is rightfully theirs through the act of speaking.

Each of these awesome people have learned to craft a speech encompassing their story while inspiring their audiences, through their courage and dignity, to speak up and add their voices to the #Voice2Change.

Each of these speakers have met The Three Reason You Need Speak.

1. I speak because I believe have something to say.

2. I speak because I believe I have something to say that needs to be heard.

3. I speak because I believe that I have something to say that needs to heard by someone other than me.

Your Speaking Challenge

The next time you get to speak either for a living, as part of your job, as a civic authority or as a volunteer please keep these three reasons in mind. Think about the opportunity you’re getting to share your thoughts, passion, and vision with a group of people.

If you really have something to say, know what it is. Take the time to organize it and make it palatable to your audience.

If you believe what you have to say needs to be heard, take the time to practice it. Put your best voice forward. Make the lasting impression you desire. Leave your listeners with a message to remember.

I you believe the thing you have to say needs to be heard by others, get to know who they are. What are their needs. How will your speech satisfy their “What’s In It For Me?” desire.

Above all, don’t speak because you can.

Whenever you speak, let it be because you should. Your audience will appreciate it and you will experience the reciprocal benefit that comes from making that bountiful connection speaking affords.

Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, your comments and suggestions are delightfully welcome in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

How to know what your audience wants from you.

"The success of your presentation will be judged
not by the knowledge you send but by what the listener receives.”
Lilly Walters

The single biggest sin any speaker can commit is to forget about their audience.

That’s why the quote accompanying this blog from Lily Walters, executive director of Walters International Speakers Bureau and author of Speak & Grow Rich, offers aspiring speaker her cautionary advice.

• Stay audience-centric.

• Don’t get lost in your moment on stage by thinking the event is all about you.

• Every speaking opportunity begins and ends with giving the audience what they expect.

“How is it possible to know what my audience expects from me, without being able to ask everyone in my audience?”

For so many speakers, the answer to this question is a major concern.

Is it possible to know what every member of your audience is expecting from you before your speak?

Absolutely!

The Audience’s Expectation Hierarchy

Several years ago, I developed The Audience’s Expectation Hierarchy (you can download a copy from the link below) to assist my clients in learning how they should develop audience-centric content for their speeches. Every audience, regardless of demographic composition, has specific expectations. The most expedient a speaker is in fulfilling these expectations the higher the level of integration an audience will have with the speaker’s content and objective. The Audience’s Expectation Hierarchy offers a very comprehensive, easy to follow strategy for making the fastest and most complete connection with your audience.

WIIFM – The world’s most popular station

The base level of The Audience’s Expectation Hierarchy addresses the most primal need of an audience; their “skin in the game” value.

Imagine how confident you would be if you know, even before you speak, what every audience member is thinking. Well you can. It’s simple. “What’s in it for me!?”

It’s not that audience members are ego-centric, but they do want their needs satisfied. So, from a listener’s perspective they need to know what they might gain from listening to you in return for their time and attention investment. I call it “getting a bang for their butt”. Many speakers think the more you hold out the drama of your main point, the more the audience will stay engaged. You can do this to a point, but whatever you do it had better impart some indication of the promise to come. Otherwise, you’ll lose them.

So, answer the WIIFM question by telling them what they will have to gain as an audience member. You might say something like this, “Before we finish here today, you will have a strategy for living your life with more purpose, persistence and fulfilling promise than when you came in the room.” This will let them know “what’s in it for them” if they make the commitment to stay with you.

Follow the Blueprint

Each succeeding level of the hierarchy fulfills another need the audience has thereby increasing their engagement with your content and you as a speaker.

• Level 1: What is this all about?
  Here’s your chance to set the stage for the point you want to make by clearly stating it. “Today I am going to share with you a fundamental strategy for increasing your success potential through intention.”

• Level 2: Why should I listen to you?
  Here’s the right time to establish your credentials and authority on your content. No matter who you are, you need to make them feel you are worthy of their attention and energy.

• Level 3: How will this affect my life or livelihood?
  In speaking circles we call this proximity and impact. If it doesn’t affect them, there will be no urgency behind their engaging with you or your content.

• Level 4: Is this information the most current; quoted and cited accurately?
  It is your responsibility as a thought leader and speaker to make sure your content is well researched, quoted and cited accurately and absolutely up to date. To misinform is to mistreat your audience. Nothing will destroy your credibility faster.

• Level 5: Is there an action I can take now?
  So many speakers get their audiences all worked up and rearing to go, but then just leave them hanging there with no actionable steps to take. Communication is all about information exchanged to create changes of knowledge, mindset and behavior. Telling them what they can do with your content to improve their lives will endear them to you.

• Level 6: What result can I expect?
  It’s OK to establish an expectation for your audience based on the content you have provided and the recommended actions you have offered. Helping them see real possibilities at the end of their journey is a big part of getting them to take the first step.

Becoming an audience-centric speaker requires a lot of discipline and intention. Remember Lily Walters advice and follow the steps I’ve laid out in The Audience Expectation Hierarchy. If you do you will be an engaging speaker every time while enjoying the thrill of Speaking Success will bring.

Now that you know what your audience wants from you please share this blog with a friend or colleague. As always, your comments and suggestions are delightfully welcome in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer