How to Grow Your Speaking Voice through Respect.

“Stupid is as stupid does.”
Forrest Gump

These words above, from the fictional title character of the film, Forrest Gump, have amazing clarity and truth. Think about it as it applies to you. We all do stupid things, mostly by accident, sometimes by omission, and other times strictly due to a lack of concentration. But, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Let’s take a closer look.

I feel safe in venturing that few, if any, of us wake up each morning with the singular goal of, “Gee, what stupid things can I do today and still live to tell about it?” Yet, we manage to do more stupid than brilliant things without really trying. The fact that we are not aware of our own propensity for stupidity may be more of a curse than a blessing. The fortunate end of this is that most often the stupid things we do are little things which, when taken individually, have little or no effect on our life each day. Yet day after day we still do the stupid without regard to the cumulative effect it has on our lives as a whole. While some consider doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result to be a definition of insanity, I like to think of it a dose of good ole homegrown stupidity. This type of behavior will eventually call into question the foundation of Respect we have for yourself.

RESPECT AND THE SPEAKER

As a speaker, you must be ever aware that your authority to speak rests greatly and precariously on the foundation Credibility you established for yourself. A large portion of your credibility is impacted and shaped by the depth of respect you have for yourself, your foundational message, and your relationship to the audiences you serve.

In many cases, as a speaker, it is what we do when we are saying nothing that can easily betray the depth of our credibility and the level of respect we maintain.

You’re at the airport on the way to a speaking opportunity when you step into the newsstand to pick up some water and a snack for the flight. As you walk down the aisle you cross in front of another shopper who is tortuously deciding which chewy snack will hit the spot and you do so without even offering a courteous, “Excuse me.”

“So, what,” you say, “they probably didn't even notice!”

You might be right. But, that’s not the question you should be asking yourself. The real deep question here is. “Did you notice?” And if you did notice and did not offer a polite, “Excuse me” you may have committed a double offense, one to the person you offended and two to your personal dignity and respect.

When you walk in to your speaking engagement the next day, you are greeted by the very person you were rude to at the airport. You feel stupid for having acted badly in a situation you can never undo. You cannot NOT communicate and the message you have sent through your action is a sign of disrespect and questionable credibility.

RESPECT AND YOUR SPEAKING VOICE

“Actions speak louder than words” and growing your speaking voice is less about what you’re saying and more about the foundational base from which are speaking. While you are diligently digging to discover content that matters to you and will impact your audiences, your actions throughout the process will help solidify a platform with the integrity to support your message.

The more actions of respect inward and outward that you perform, the stronger your experiential base as a speaker will be. Not only will what you say grow, but the strength of conviction within the voice behind those words will grow as well.

SPEAKING OF RESPECT

The general point here is that it is more than just a common courtesy so say “Excuse me” when we infringe on another’s space. By doing so, we acknowledge there are rules of conduct which we ascribe to as a civilized society. These rules help us to create order while they relieve us from the potential rule of chaos.

Saying, “Excuse me” not only bestows a measure of respect on the infringed, it bestows a measure of civility on the infringer as well. This behavior can and will establish an atmosphere of mutual respect between each person involved in the encounter. Respect makes our world a better place to live. It makes our common efforts rewarding. It makes us understand the basis of our common existence.

My challenge to you is to try to be courteous and respectful in all situations. Particularly those when you are about to knowingly do something stupid. Give yourself a break. Take yourself off of autopilot and take command of your vessel. At the end of the day, acknowledge the stupid little things you have done and make a conscious effort not to repeat them.

Remember, the most important person in the world is you. If you don't show yourself the maximum amount of respect you deserve, it's quite possible no one else will either. If you keep on going day after day repeating one small stupidity after another, it will have a cumulative effect on your reserve of self-respect.

 “Stupid is as stupid does,” but stupid does not have to become a standard of performance or an excuse to be rude.

Thanks for your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

It's Time for the Expert in You to Start Thinking Deeply About What You Feel, Know and Say.

“Learn as though you would never be able to master it;
Hold it as though you would be in fear of losing it”
Confucius

I recently had a gentleman ask me, “What does The Speech Wiz do?”
He asked me if I can help with body language, gestures, vocal variety and a host of other nonverbal speaking skills all of which I answered in the affirmative. Then he looked at me, paused and asked me a question that betrayed a deeper understanding of the most difficult aspect of a speaker’s skill.
“Do you coach people on what they should say?”
“Ah,” I said, “that’s a really insightful question. Why do you ask?”
“Because,” he responded, “I seem to hear a lot of people speak with great style and flair, but they don’t really say much of value. I guess that’s the hardest part.”
Kudos to him! His observation is spot on.

LEARNING TO SPEAK

When you learn to play an instrument, you begin by learning the basic skills long before you begin to refine the style and type of music you will one day play. And, just because you master one style doesn’t mean you will excel at all styles. Rudolph Nureyev was a master ballet dancer and a so-so tap dancer. Fred Astaire was a master tap dancer and a fairly good ballet dancer. The trick in becoming a Speaking Master is to find your theme and keep at it. It is rare when a thought leading speaker excels at more than one vein of thought.
Like any skill you practice, speaking is a multi-faceted skillset that can take years to master. In the process of learning how to say it well, the true master speaker spends enormous time and energy on what they want to say as well. They become masters of Content Creation within their core line of thought. Through this lengthy process of deep thinking, they aggregate a massive amount of existing knowledge and generate innovative new perspectives on their theme or passion.

THE MASTER’S VOICE

The goal of a Master Speaker or Thought Leader is to sprinkle their audience with a few concepts and suggestions that will allow the seeds of their message to take root. Most thought leaders begin as a Subject Matter Expert (SME). Their subject areas are incredibly diverse ranging from arts to science to philosophy to self-help and more. The toughest challenge for many SME speakers is controlling the amount of content they share with their audiences on each speaking occasion.
Unfortunately, for some audiences, some SME speakers rush to the speaking stage and in the process skip the lengthy deep thinking on their topic that is needed. This results with the SME speaker hitting their audience with a “firehose” of content overwhelming their processing ability and drowning out their unique message.
While what we say (verbal content) represents only 7% of the communicated message it is one of those rare times when the math of 7% and 93% are of equal value.
No matter how you run the numbers, what you say is just as important as how you say it. So, while all of the nonverbal skills (body movement, vocal variety, and personal presentation) are critical to being well received by your audience, having your message remembered and repeated by your audience because it has taken root is priceless. A Master Speaker’s Voice is that unique message they bring to their audience’s and the ease with which it takes root and grows its impact.

THE DEEPER THE THOUGHT, THE HIGHER THE MESSAGE

Deep thinking is a solitary experience. No Cliff® notes available. It is a self-occupying, constantly-curious, and never-ending experience. A speaker will never suffer a loss for the time invested in deeply thinking about their core topic. The journey is always exhilarating, liberating and profoundly beyond the intended destination.
If you’re a speaker and curious about how to craft your core message, deep thinking on your primary topic area is where you need to begin. Pick up your shovel and pick axe and get ready to begin exploring the mine of your mind. The nuggets of insight and gems of clarity you’ll be looking to find will be found among 3 Veins of Thought within your mind:

1. What you know

2. What you’re passionate about

3. The experiences you have had.

Together, these three veins will supply you with the relevant stories you need to support your profound observations, foundational phrase, and unique massage that create your speaking value.

THE RIVER OF DEEP THOUGHT

Ultimately, a speaker should desire to achieve a facility of topic knowledge and expression that makes them “at one” with their topic. Deep thinking speakers do not speak in a stream of consciousness. Instead they speak from a deep river of thought. From within this river, a speaker will exhibit two qualities of their knowledge, fluency and spontaneity, they use to create a genuine bond with their topic and their audience.

In the deep river of thought fluency means you speaker’s knowledge, insights and recommendations are endless. They flow without restriction or hesitation. This fluency has been derived from your process of extreme self-occupying, constantly-curious, and never-ending examination of the topic that is integral to you.

Spontaneity imbues you with all the qualities of a master river pilot. It enables you to see the hidden perils you might encounter in any part of your journey down your river of thought. With spontaneity you have the knowledge on where the deepest water is. You easily know how and where to cross the river to touch upon an adjoining shore of thought. With spontaneity, you can ride the swiftest or the choppiest water with the same level of confidence because you have deeply thought about the journey more than the destination.

DEEP THOUGHTS EQUAL DEEPER ROOTS

Your deep-thinking efforts will serve you well as you approach your speaking life. Read everything you can find about your area of expertise. Listen to other speakers who populate your topic space. Become a real student, a willing teacher and a giving master.

From your garden of deep thoughts, be the giver of your unique seeds others will eagerly plant, nurture, harvest and share. The more seeds you plant, the wider your crop will grow. The deeper your thoughts, the deeper the roots of the seeds you share will grow. In the end, your true value as an SME speaker will be realized when you can see the impact of your thoughts.

Above all, as a Subject Matter Expert speaker, remember to head the words of Confucius, “Learn as though you would never be able to master it; Hold it as though you would be in fear of losing it”. And, never stop the process of mining the 3 Veins of Thought within your mind.

I am delighted to share this Content Creation deep thought with you from my experiences as an Executive Speech Coach and a Success Speaker. I am grateful for your support as a reader of my blog and I welcome any comment on this post or suggestions you might have in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer